


He needed to find Dan

by apieformydean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, No Smut, Oneshot, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, RPF, Requited Love, Reunions, Secret Crush, Separation Anxiety, Sorry Not Sorry, danisnotonfire - Freeform, i guess, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 18:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4574793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apieformydean/pseuds/apieformydean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He remembers clearly rushing in the crowd of people, who were trying to get out of the building. Phil knew exactly where Dan’s class was, so he thought it was logical to look for him there. But when he arrived, there was no one left in there. He never found the 17-year-old."</p><p> </p><p>The world has come to the end and Phil is left alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He needed to find Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt: "ive been in love with you for years but was too scared to do anything about it. now the whole goddamn world has gone to shit and everyone I know is dying and i'll never get to tell you because you're probably dead too. except shit you just showed up out of no where and saved me from becoming zombie chow and you're covered in blood and dirt and your clothes are ripped and fuck it if I don't love you even more now" au

Phil throws himself down behind the remains of a brick wall. Most of the buildings in this part of the city were destroyed by the bombs thrown here, and he feels lucky to even have this one. He feels his knees and elbows hit the ground hard, but he knows if he doesn’t crouch, he’ll get trapped between the hoard of zombies and the gunfire. He just covers his ears with his dirty hands and pulls his head between his knees. I will be over soon. At least he hopes so.

It’s always the same. When he finds himself a group that is willing to let him stay with them, they get killed. Phil knows these guys don’t have nearly enough ammo to stop the hoard. The groaning sea of dead bodies will swallow the small group of people on the top of those car wrecks, and Phil is the only one who can run away.

So he does. He gets up on his feet and, trying his best to ignore the shooting pain in his knees. He hurries along the wall, supporting himself with his hands, but stops when he reaches the end of the cover. He is about to step out, fully exposing himself to all the undead on the other side of the wall.

He gauges his options. He refuses to go in the barber’s shop. Its only window is broken, the door seems to be in a shitty condition as well. It’s all but safe. There’s a narrow alley next to it, and Phil was lucky enough he didn’t have to find out on his own that those were the worst places to go with the undead around you.

On his right is the van of his group – _ex_ -group, now we can say – with which he could make his escape. He has to be fast, however. The zombies are about to reach it in a moment, and without hesitation, Phil runs.

His legs are unbelievably sore, his heart is about to jump out of his chest, but he doesn’t give up. He can’t. Staying here would be suicidal, and he has no intention of doing that. He doesn’t even care he has no equipment with him, he just runs, the smoke of a burning building nearby stings in his lungs.

And he sees the zombies encircle the van. He wants to cry out, to tell them to get the fuck away from there, but it would be a rather stupid idea, and also worthless. The decaying bodies hit the windows as the others push them from behind, and Phil nearly trips over as he takes a sharp turn around and tries to go back behind the wall.

“Bloody hell, Philip, get your ass back here and help!” one member of the group – he thinks her name is Tracy, with the nose ring and short red hair – yells at him hysterically, and he realises it may not be the wisest to return to them. His only option left is the barber’s shop. He grabs his side as he runs for his life, his ribs feel like they will fall out at any moment.

He, however, makes it to the shop, tearing up the door and shutting it behind himself before any zombies could follow him. He takes a look around in the small dark room. The chairs are flipped over, and he drags one of them to the door, barricading it. There’s also a huge wardrobe in there. He decides to push it in front of the window. It’s much heavier, especially with his sore knee, but he manages to move it where he wants it. He checks for other exits, and he’s relieved there’re no more doors nor windows. He still can hear the shrieks and the sound of guns from outside, and he clenches his teeth.

It’s not the first time he has to leave people behind to save himself. It’s always hopeless, to tell the truth. The only groups agreeing to have him are the weak ones. They’re always inexperienced, usually just hiding and trying to pull through without actually facing the danger.

He collapses on the floor, with his back to the wardrobe. He looks down at himself. His jeans are totally torn, and not in the way he likes them. They’re practically rags, and his checked shirt is in no better condition. His hands and arms are covered in bruises and wounds, but he doesn’t even care. His shoes practically fall off his feet, despite the multiply layers of duct tape.

He throws his head back. He can’t shut out the noises, but he tries nonetheless. He closes his eyes and his hand comes up to his chest, grabbing at his necklace out of habit. When he does that, it almost feels like he isn’t alone. Like the person who gave him the lion-head amulet is still there.

Phil doesn’t feel bad for leaving people behind anymore. When all this shit started – like, five or six months ago –, he was left alone, too. His parents ran for their lives and he wasn’t even home. He was at school. His teachers were supposed to save them, but they thought 18-year-olds were capable of saving themselves. And most of them were, but not Phil. He didn’t think about saving himself, he didn’t want to run away, not alone.

He needed to find Dan.

He remembers clearly rushing in the crowd of people, who were trying to get out of the building. Phil knew exactly where Dan’s class was, so he thought it was logical to look for him there. But when he arrived, there was no one left in there. He never found the 17-year-old. Phil felt betrayed and scared, he knew he had to get out, but he just couldn’t.

That was the first moment he thought about losing his best friend forever. Since then he had to think about it every day. Well, he was only a friend for Dan, but he meant so much more to Phil. He refused to admit his feelings even for himself then. And now he never gets to be with him again. He thinks about their last fight, that morning, when all this started, he doesn’t even remember what it was about, he just can’t stop thinking how Dan might be somewhere, believing Phil is still mad at him.

 _He is more than probably dead._ – he reminds himself. – _You have to give up looking for him._

But without the hope of finding him there’s nothing for Phil worth staying alive.

He feels tears gathering in his eyes, and he’s hyperventilating. He didn’t cry in some days now, probably a week, and the thought it was over, but it clearly isn’t. He still can’t think about his dorky best friend without feeling as if the whole planet collapses around him.

Damn, it was half a year ago, and Phil is still a mess. He would feel ashamed if there were others in there with him, but he is totally, completely, painfully alone. That’s why he always seeks for a group. He doesn’t trust himself with loneliness. He’s sobbing now, his fingers grabbing at his necklace so hard his knuckles go white.

Phil lays down in the dirt in fetal position, pulling his knees up, and hugging them. He feels like a total loser, a hopeless idiot, a good-for-nothing kid…

Somehow, between sobs and tears, he finally drifts off into blessed, dreamless sleep.

 

The next morning Phil wakes up with heavy, puffy eyelids and sweaty palm. He’s been holding on to his necklace all night. His knee’s stopped hurting, and he’s glad. He surely could use two properly working legs today.

He gets up, looking around. It’s as dark as it’s been the night before, but that’s not surprising since he barricaded all possible sources of light. He looks for anything he could possibly use as a weapon, opens some drawers and fortunately comes across two straight razors. He puts his ear on the door. It’s all quiet and he takes a deep breath before slowly opening it. Light pours in, and he has to blink for a while to see anything.

The whole street is covered with last night’s victims. Phil only peers out, but he can already see the members of his ex-group, torn apart, being eaten by the undead. He grimaces, his stomach tightens at the sight. They were idiots for coming in the city knowing it was full of zombies, but still, this isn’t something Phil would wish on anybody. There are several zombie corpses the humans could shot last night, but there are so many of those who are currently chewing on them.

He can see the van as well. He’s sure the keys are in there, and maybe he can find some water and leftover food, because he needs energy. He has to get out of the city. He closes his eyes and thinks about the possible roads to take. The only one he knows is the one on which they came in, and it was a trap by now. Whatever. He’ll have to find another then. His only chance to survive is the van, so he doesn’t spend much time hesitating. He grabs the straight razors tighter, and throws himself out of the door.

There’s a zombie approaching him, and he doesn’t wait for it to get him, he launches forward, pushing one razor right in its temple, and the body collapses in front of him. He twists the razor and pulls it out, blood sprinkling from the wound. Phil doesn’t pay much attention to it, he trips over the body, and hurries towards the van. He almost believes he made it when another decoying body grabs his arm and he yells in surprise. He’s not happy when he sees at least a dozen of dead eyes turning towards him as he tries to shake off the zombie. It grabs at his arm hard, and Phil has to shove one razor in its eye. He has no time to pull it out, he just runs to the van, and tears the door open.

He jumps in and shuts the door. He sighs; he’s actually alive. But there’s no time to enjoy breathing. He has to get out of this hell. His hand grabs for the keys and-

“What the actual…?” he groans when he finds the ignition empty. His brain feels like sponge when he tries to remember who must had the car keys. Marcus drove last night, right? Or was it Annabeth…?

Phil, despite the gathering crowd of zombies outside the car, tries to see past them, the corpses on the ground. He sees Tracy’s body, it misses almost all limbs, her eyes are wide open and shocked. Annabeth lays not too far away, her face has been eaten almost completely. Phil only recognises her from her huge blue jeans. He has to stretch his neck to see behind a zombie that’s violently banging on his window. There’s Marcus, his corpse is opened up, and currently a monster is feeding on his liver.

And the keys are next to him, hanging from his neck on a piece of rope.

Phil wants to punch himself in the face. How the hell is he going to get out, grab the keys, get back in and start the car without being eaten? He should have been more careful. Now he’ll die in the van, surrounded by the undead. All because he was a stupid asshole.

The zombie that keeps hitting the window with its head is dangerously close to broke the glass and Phil starts to panic. He only has one razor now, and he doesn’t want to lose that one as well. Not like he has any chance. When the window breaks, his face will be torn off by the zombie.

Phil already knows it’s the end. He’ll die.

The zombie tries to bite the glass, and the boy backs away from the window, holding up his weapon to use it if the window breaks. He won’t go down without a fight.

The cracks on the glass run to the very edge of the window, and it breaks eventually. But not because of the zombie; that one has his brain all over the car door now. Phil sees the man in black leather jacket and dusty jeans, his mouth covered with a blood-soaked bandana behind the broken glass. He has a baseball bat in his hands, and keeps on killing the undead. He must be very strong, because he’s only lightly panting when stands in front of Phil.

His hair is too long, his brown dirty bands hang in his eyes, and he stares at Phil for a moment, before the boy in the car could yell out.

“Watch out!”

The man spins on his heels and with a huge swing of the bat he smashes the zombie’s head. Blood splutters everywhere, and the man releases a breath he’s been holding.

“The keys are there!” Phil points at Marcus’ torn body, and the man get it and is back in no time. Phil shuffles over to the passenger’s seat, so the man just hops in, steps on it, and they’re out.

They drive over several corpses and undead, and Phil doesn’t even care who this guy is or were they’re going, he’s just happy he could get out of there. The man drives without a word, and looking at him, Phil is almost sure it’s not even a _man_. Not a proper one. More like a boy. He doesn’t mention it, however.

Reaching the edge of the city, the boy in the leather jacket drives off the road, in the middle of the cornfield. The car is safely hidden under the high plants, and Phil frowns. They should get as far as possible from the city. He tightens his fist around the razor, in case the other is about to attack him.

The car stops, and the leather jacketed boy suddenly throws his arms around Phil. Not violently, it’s more like… well, a hug.

Phil is totally confused now, questions race in his head, when he realises he knows this hug from somewhere. He rarely had the fortune to get one of these, but he cherished every moment of that.

“Jesus Christ, it’s you, it’s bloody you, I can’t believe it.” the leather jacketed boy murmurs into his neck. Phil freezes. Can it be…? Yeah, he would recognize it anywhere, it’s _his_ voice. Phil has to push the boy away to make sure it’s real.

Phil pulls the bandana down on the boy’s neck and pushes his hair out of his eyes. His chocolate brown irises are easily the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a long while, and in spite of all the blood and dirt, and the muscle he gained since they met for the last time, Phil recognizes him.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you, Dan?” he whispers, hands on both sides of said boy’s face. They just try to take in each other’s faces, like there is nothing else in the world worth seeing.

Dan is now grinning. His face is tired and dirty, but his eyes, despite the black circles under them, are shining, and Phil just can’t believe this is real.

“I’m dreaming, I’m sure I’ve gone nuts.” he says, shaking his head sadly, but he still hasn’t taken his hands off Dan’s face.

“You are not dreaming, dumbo.” the brown-haired boy chuckles, and places his hands on Phil’s collar.

“You know what? I don’t even care if it’s not real, I have to do this.” the older boy states, and before Dan could even frown, he crashes their lips together.

They are just pushed against each other for some moments, trying to adjust to the feeling. Phil opens his mouth a bit, but Dan is quicker, he licks the black-haired boy’s bottom lip. The latter gives a surprised sound and reciprocates the gesture by lightly biting on the younger boy’s lip. When Dan sighs in the kiss, the older boy slips his hand into his hair, and the other pulls him closer by the collar.

They are kissing for what seems like a moment and a hundred years at the same time, and when they part, Phil has no words. Dan actually kissed back. He imagined this moment for more times he would dare to admit, but he would have never thought he’d get a positive reaction. And gosh, was this a positive reaction.

Their foreheads are pushed together, and the black-haired boy is just blinking at the younger one, who is grinning widely.

“I’m happy to see you again, too.” Dan comments. Phil chuckles, but after a moment he pulls away, earning a frown from the other boy.

“Where have you been?” he asks, and tries to hide the bitterness in his voice. It’s too good to be true and he still can’t believe Dan is with him. It’s just not possible. Maybe he died in the shop at night and he’s in heaven now.

“That day at school… I ran away to find you from the teachers who tried to drag me out. I went straight to your class, and it was a goddamn mess and I couldn’t find you anywhere so I guessed you… you just left me there.” Dan explains, his voice becoming quiet in the end. “Chris found me and I had no choice, I had to go with him. I should have looked for you, but I was afraid that… well, that you didn’t want to cope with a kid in all this.”

Phil is speechless. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. His eyes grow huge, he just can’t believe his ears. He’s also a bit disappointed that Dan could think that about him.

“You can’t possibly think that’s why we didn’t find each other.” he states, but the brown-haired boy just shrugs and looks away. “Dear God, I went to find you! You should have stayed where you were, it was my responsibility to find you.”

“Why? It’s not like you have that privilege because you’re older.” Dan looks back at him. “I needed to know you were safe, too, okay? Maybe if Chris wouldn’t have come-“

“Then you’d be a zombie by now.” Phil finishes for him. “You should be thankful for him. Where’s he, by the way?” he asks. Dan just looks down on his lap silently, knowing he doesn’t have to speak the words. “Oh.” is all Phil manages to say. He should have thought about that. But… if Chris is dead, it can only mean that Dan was in danger when that happened _. Thanks, Sherlock, everybody is in danger here_ – he reminds himself. And still, the death of Chris doesn’t affect him in the slightest. Not now that he knows Dan is alive.

He just leans closer to the younger boy and hugs him. It’s not like the other one before. It comforting and reassuring, they both have to show the other that they are there, they are together, and they won’t part ever again.

“So you were looking for me?” Phil asks, because he has to hear him again.

“That’s what you do when somebody you’re in love with is in danger, isn’t it?”

And that’s it. The stupidest grin appears on Phil’s face because, from Dan, it sounds so easy and natural. They are sitting in the middle of the apocalypse, barely living, constantly fearing for their lives, but finally they’re together, and won’t let anybody change that.

“I love you, too, Dan.” Phil whispers. He actually wants to kick himself in the face for wasting all that time they could have spent together.

However, on the other hand he’s just happy they got a second chance now.

**Author's Note:**

> heeey so if you liked this one please comment and give me kudos because i loooooove those :33  
> also, i take prompts! so dont be shy, i dont bite ^^


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